COMPLIMENT VS. SEXUAL HARASSMENT

COMPLIMENT VS. SEXUAL HARASSMENT
-By Pavani Macker

“You look beautiful Gloria,” complimented Mr Phil, her Superior.
Even Though, it was merely a compliment but it was frowned upon
by Gloria’s colleagues for, Mr Phil, their Superior, to have said that
as it was not a workplace appropriate comment and could easily be
construed as a Sexual Harassment which further leads to the
following question
Can a genuine compliment by a Superior or any other co-worker
result in Sexual Harassment ?
Let’s find out…
A compliment is defined as “ a statement or action that shows
admiration for somebody with an intent to show respect, to make
the recipient feel good, valued and appreciated and to build a
relationship of trust.”
On the other hand, Sexual harassment is defined as a harassment, it
includes any one or more of the following unwelcome acts or
behaviour (whether directly or by implication) namely
(i) physical contact and advances
(ii) a demand or request for sexual favours
(iii) making sexually coloured remarks
(iv) showing pornography
(v) any other unwelcome physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct of
sexual nature
The Intent behind a Verbal Sexual harassment is to gain power over
the recipient, intimidate and violate the recipient’s boundaries
thereby making him/her feel humiliated, uncomfortable, offended.

Therefore, a compliment is a comment which does not make the
recipient feel threatened, whereas the sexual comment makes the
recipient feel threatened and intimidated.
It is often said that in workplaces, a best compliment would be
which reflects a person’s intelligence, work related abilities and
other professional aspects of their character. But, that does not
mean an occasional non sexual and non related comment or a
compliment can result in Sexual Harassment.
Whereas, a comment of Sexual nature or such series of comments
can lead to Sexual harassment.
Then how can we differentiate a compliment from Sexual
Harassment?
1. The biggest misconception about Sexual Harassment is
“ Intent is more important than Impact”

However, it is the other way round. The Impact on the
Recipient is what matters the most.
Going back to the example mentioned above wherein Mr Phil
complimented Gloria, if Gloria is not offended and does not
perceive the comment to be troublesome, it would not be
deemed Sexual Harassment.
However, if the compliment has a negative effect of the
recipient or on his/her job performance, for eg, The
Compliment/ Comments made him/her want to avoid Mr
Phil or Gloria is dreading to come to work or is worrying
about the next encounters, this may be construed as a Sexual
Harassment.

2. If the Comments, Compliments, Remarks made by the
colleague or a superior are unwelcome, offensive, repeated
and makes it difficult for the recipient to work then such
Comments, Compliments, Remarks can be termed as Sexual
Harassment.

Further, even if the recipient has made it clear to the person
making such remarks, compliments, comments that he/she
is uncomfortable and the person still continues with it then
that behaviour can be construed as Sexual Harassment.
Repetitive Compliments, Comments after a no from the
recipient can lead to Sexual Harassment.
3. Any Compliment which is sexual and suggestive in nature is
Sexual Harassment

• COMPLIMENTS OBJECTIFYING BODY PARTS

Co-workers and Superiors can give compliments to their
colleagues in the workplace. However, if the
compliments are of such nature that objectifies body
parts then it is a sexual harassment.
For eg : Telling someone they look good today or
complimenting a new piece of clothing is not Sexual
Harassment, however, if a colleague or a superior
compliments that I love that outfit, it really shows of
your figure, then it is a sexual harassment.
However, if a superior asks his/ her subordinate to dress
appropriately at work or asks him/her to dress

conservatively than suggestively, it is not sexual
harassment as the superior is only making sure of the
dress code.

• COMPLIMENTS FOLLOWED BY SEXUAL COMMENTS

If a colleague compliments “ That’s a nice skirt” and
follow it up with a sexual comment “ it really shows off
your calfs” then it is a Sexual Harassment.
• COMPLIMENTS FOLLOWED UP BY UNSOLICITED
PHYSICAL CONTACT

Any type of unsolicited physical contact that
accompanies a compliment which makes a person feel
uncomfortable depending upon the nature, the nature of
touching and the nature of the compliment. Suggestive
gestures or invasion of the recipient’s boundaries or
personal space can also turn a compliment into Sexual
Harassment.

• PERSISTING IMPROPER COMPLIMENTS AND
COMMENTS

If however a person makes too many compliments they
can create a different effect on the person receiving the
compliments. One case described compliments made by
an owner to a number of female staff who felt it was
“creepy if a man is always hitting on us”
In Panucci v. Seller’s Choice Stockdale Realty
Ltd, the employer admitted that he often called people

“beautiful”, would suggest to people that they “go on a
cruise together” and would comment on their lipstick.
The employer asked employees to spend more time with
him, drink wine with him, and give him hugs. He also
made comments that he considered friendly and
supportive, such as telling people they looked nice. The
Tribunal ruled that even though the employer viewed his
comments in a “benign and positive light”, regardless of
whether he was told the comments were unwelcome, he
ought reasonably to have known that the persistent
comments about the physical attributes of the people
working with him were unwelcome.

To sum up, Compliments, whether improper or not, depends upon
the following factors
• The context

• The tone

• If it follows a pattern of behaviour

• The nature of the relationship (someone you are close friends
with or a supervisor)

“What do you think about the following statement:
“Those pants look great on you”.
The right answer for the scenario above is: It depends on the
context.
Can you say that comment to a coworker you feel you have a
friendship with and be okay? Sure you can! However, remember
that even simple comments with good intentions can come across
poorly, and it can be difficult to navigate what is and is not

appropriate. A compliment in the workplace can easily cross lines.
As mentioned above, several factors can influence the effect of a
phrase like that one, like tone, proximity, relationship with the
person who is saying it and power dynamics.
Tone and body language are the easiest to understand.
Any form of sexual assault or harassment is an intentional method
of one person having power and control over another. If the person
who is saying the comment comes from someone in power, like a
teacher, a coach, or a boss, it makes the interaction more
complicated. The person receiving the comment may feel
uncomfortable and forced to respond in a certain way.
That is why it is better not to compliment someone’s physical
appearance in any professional environment. In this instance, we
could rethink our wording and say: “Those pants are awesome!”
instead of “those pants look great on you” that way we are not
focusing on someone’s body but on the clothing item. “

Source- https://www.catharsisproductions.com/posts/compliment-or-sexual-
harassment/

Therefore, next time if you are confused whether it was a
compliment or sexual harassment go through the following short
checklist can help you decide if a coworker or supervisor has
subjected you to workplace sexual harassment:
• Do the comments alarm or frighten you?

• Have you made it clear that you are uncomfortable with the
remarks and yet they continue?

• Are the compliments sexual or suggestive in nature?

• Does the context of the compliments make them
inappropriate?

• Do the compliments have any negative effect on your job
performance? For example, do they make you want to avoid
your boss, dread coming to work, or worry about your next
encounter?